Of blood and wine.

I believe in wine. I believe in drinking the metaphorical blood of my enemies and watching Game of Thrones. I believe in the red grapes singing out truth in my veins and viscera. The fruit of the gods fermented and imbibed brings us closer to divinity. She soars within me and swims in my blood.
Of grapes and vine, of flesh divine,
we drink our fill the feel our will,
flush of skin, power within,
To the surface arise and drown all lies.

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What a year

The last sip of wine for the age of thirty one has passed. Lips and cheeks warm with the blush of possibility. Blessings of the year come forward. Thinking greatly of Foxfire Kells and how she has led me to a spiritual family and towards personal sovereignty. I grow and shine knowing nothing would be possible without her guidance.

This year I have found family, sisterhood and a deeper self. Warriors who stand beside me in the fight for freedom, knowledge, and true equality. I am grateful for all and so grateful for the women. In the past I had thought I did not mesh with most women, I had thought my tomboy nature led me towards more male friends. This year I know with my body, blood, and soul what it is to have sisterhood. Women who stand beside you, fight with you and empower you to be the best. Those who give us permission to be flawed and fabulous, smart and do dumb things, ferociously protect the room grow and love us for every little bump, bruise, stretchmark and scar. Women! Sisters of mind and spirit thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

As thirty one passes I reach and grow into thirty two knowing that ahead lies greatness, pleasure, success, love., revelry and unconditional support. I move more fully into myself and shed the skin of previous form. Watch out world, you might want to put on your stunner shades cause here I come!

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Ten of Swords

I got into a car wreck Tuesday night and it has derailed well me mostly. No one was seriously injured, we all walked away, things will be fixed, replaced or recycled but my mind is a trap. All in all everything is working out just fine and will be good if not better but right now my mind is a trap. I’m scared, hurting and trying to function. It hits me in waves, I’m not looking, everything is groovy and then I’m fighting brain weasels. At first they appear as friendly nonthreatening insights then they burrow.
Deep and unrelentingly they burrow into every crevice to create doubt and fear. The mole hill becomes mountain. Everything comes into question. First it was what went wrong in a single incident and now it’s when will you ever stop fucking up.
What the head weasels are distracting you from you is that you are part of the divine in all her infinite glory. You are stars and glitter, all of space and time. Beauty lives in your flaws and perfection is the sum of a life lived wholly.
Seek out the things that make you cackle with glee. Value your wellbeing. Quell the brain weasels with love and awesomeness and when you can’t do it alone, reach out. She’s there, we’re here and there’s plenty of love to go around.

Craft Skill

Craft can mean a variety of things especially in Pagan-landia. Often it conjures images of Fariuza Balk in lots of black eyeliner, who I totally love btw. In my little cottage world what it means to me is more about the attention, intention and care you bring to a project. For example I made a white dress for my recent initiation and by no means am I a seamstress and it was definitely not couture I assure you. What I did do was try really hard and kept going till it was done. Since it was the firs time I tried to sew anything like this it was a big learning experience and I could definitely do things better on the next one but for a first one I gave it my all. Craft is about how we apply ourselves to a situation. Skill is handy but can be learned, commitment, heading horns first into it and running till the end is the skill of craft.

Blood

Vessels of crimson and cobalt,

Water, nutrients, and ancestral memories,

In the rich thickness of my blood stirs all,

All that has been all that shall arise,

Like the dark mother, inside me,

The capacity for Creation and Destruction,

As one is the other and all is one

Blood of my blood,

Feel me in your hearts beat.

 

 

Alchemy

Alchemy has many connotations and meanings to people so here is what it means to me.

Alchemy is the active practice of transformation for the good.

In any moment we have the choice to be happy, we have the choice to make this world a better place. With alchemy we can transform the moment where a plan falls apart into a grand adventure where we save the day. This is Alchemy on the fine level if we zoom out to a larger scale we can see the larger ramifications. If we save half of every oops moment and make it a miracle the we have created that many miracles. Thinking over the last month how different would your time have been if half the time thins went awry, they instead worked out for the better. How would you feel about the world?

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Air

Pagan Blog Project, Week 1:  A

Breathe in, smell the adventure to come.

Hold you breath, feel the expansive volume inside you.

Exhale, all you do not need recedes into the abyss.

Hold the emptiness, know you are everything you need to be.

Air sweeps in with witty retorts, smells of adventures in far away lands and fiesty inspiration. Use Air qualities to balance slowness, rigidity, and boredom. Air dares you dream.

Happy New Year!

So it’s been a while.

Whats happened, well  I had the most stressful christmas in years, gained 40 pounds and and getting ready for an initiation next saturday.  Having found my pagan family it is so weird being around people who don’t get it. Its the little things that get under my skin and fester, like when I talk about the properties of a crystal and someone laughs a little.  Sorry world, I forgot. Forgot how judgey and lame your people can be some time. See the world I live in, that I am creating with every breath isn’t like that and I forget that you haven’t all succumb to the awesomeness. Don’t worry you’ll feel it soon.

I’ve missed you bloggy and I am excited for our year to come. Many things are happening and I cant wait to share and explore with you.Heres some news, were joining :

So now throughout the year I will be making weekly posts based on the theme given out by the Pagan Blog Project. Buckle up, its going to be quite a year!

Noticing

Wow the harvest season sure has been busy. Long time no blog. It seems as though we went from running like mad to full stop in a matter of days. The last week are so has been about stillness and turning inward.
This is a tricky time for me because it is a fine line between internal observation and depression. My goal this year is to observe my negative patterns without judgement. Which is really tough. Years of abuse, self destruction and deep depression make the dark sadness more comfortable than the bright happiness. So it’s a tight rope, but equilibrium can be achieved and we can get to the other side hopefully shedding what doesn’t serve us along the way.
Here are some things I’ve been Observing:
I still feel uncomfortable in my successes and joy. I noticed this at my dark moon Hekate & Hermes practice. We do a tarot draw at the end as part of the ritual and for the last 6 months or so I’ve pulled very positive readings and quite a few times felt bad about it. I have a lot of issues with people feeling less than because of my successes which makes me feel bad because I don’t want to hurt anyone. I am Mak

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Into the Dark, onto the Light.

Tonight I cleaned and reassembled my altar. Often this task falls near the quarters but mostly I do it when I feel the time has come. The teal leather cloth I was using is hung in storage and I’ve moved onto a scarf that reminds me of snakes. I dedicated a significant part of my altar towards prosperity as that has been an issue for many dear to me in recent days. I also recently acquired some Mercury dimes for Hermes to bless & Charge and a very special offering for Hekate this dark moon.

As part of my ritual I clear the altar and cleanse the wood. Then take some cascarilla make any important symbols, or write for things I desire or would like to build in the coming time. Then top with a freshly clean altar cloth, which ever feels appropriate and begin adding back the candles and tools.

Once everything is back in its place, candles are lit, offerings made, it is time for divination. Tonight my question was what do I need to know going into and out of the Dark Moon. Here are my cards:

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Looks like I have a rough time ahead and that it will be worth it on the other side. Time to surrender to the flow of the universe and prepare for growth by root or by forge though with all these swords I’m banking on forge.

Stay safe friends.